A national recall has been placed on the viral toy, Needoh, after a high school sophomore discovered an alien resource had been used in the production of the toy. The toy has been found to consume its caretaker in a parasitic manner in the event of caffeine exposure.
Last week, sophomore Thomas Gooly of Liberty High School noticed that his blue cubed Needoh was clouding over and decided to clean it with an energy drink-drenched tissue.
Later that evening, however, Gooly found himself answering his front door only to find the blue blob sitting on the door handle, and brought the Needoh into his room. According to Nancy Gooly, the victim’s mother, the next morning, Thomas’ arm was unusually transparent, and hair and dust latched onto his skin.
Further into the day, at lunch, Gooly was seen purchasing an additional energy drink with his friends over hearing a deep, mucus-filled voice demanding fuel from “the person who brought me alive.”
Many of Gooly’s classmates, such as Aubry Mist, noticed familiar actions: “It’s like that one thing from that wizard movie you know. Where the teacher has the villain on his scalp and covers it up. Or that slimy guy from those superhero movies with the attractive voice.”
Gooly’s condition only worsened until his whole torso had been turned into the slime-filled rubber substance, which was immediately reported to authorities. Gooly was brought in for testing somewhere near Reno, Nevada, with many of the scientists trying to keep the incident on the DL (short for down low).
However, too many students had witnessed events of the incident, and the Guard for Oozing Observations (GOO) made the following statement: “Needohs from further notice have been recalled for the implementation of extraterrestrial substances that are activated by caffeine to make a fully functioning alien parasite. But we kinda need everyone to give the toys back so we can pretend like this never happened. It was just an oopsies that we will deny profusely later.”
Gooly has not had the chance to make further comments as he has not been located in a long while in a form other than a Needoh-shaped student that sits in classes.
“I hadn’t really noticed a difference if I’m being honest,” said science teacher Kevin Good. “The students are always drinking Redbulls and grumbling under their breath about things in class. I just thought he had one of those squishy things in the shape of a jellyfish. Turns out that was his hand.”
