Parenting Teenagers
Many parents have different methods of introducing their teenagers to adulthood: Some parents start giving “adult” responsibilities to their children by the time they turn 15 or 16. They are the type to encourage their teens to get a job, lean more into the care of their younger siblings, and—in some cases—even ask their teen to pay rent.
Other parents prefer keeping their teens close until the last second. They are the type to track their teens, have more stern restrictions on them, and refuse to let their teens experience even a glimpse of “adulthood”. These parents want their children to stay children—which only tends to push their teens further away.
While these examples are very common parenting tactics, there are plenty of parents in the grey area between them. Some parents feed their teens small glimpses of the world, some let their kids guide their journey, and some wait until college forces them to figure it out.
Because of this drastic variety in parenting styles, it’s difficult for anyone to really know the right time for teens to cross that threshold. So, in most cases, no matter how soon or how late the student is pushed into adulthood, they may not feel ready.
Independence is Hard
I started feeling shoved into adulthood the second I turned 18. I didn’t feel different at all, but suddenly, everyone around me started acting differently. My parents completely stopped letting me rely on them, pretty much at all, they started dropping me into situations I have never seen before, and they expected me to figure it all out by myself.
As a senior, of course, I can handle myself. I can drive, I can get a job, and I can technically do the things they tell me I need to do “to be an adult.” But, when the norm is suddenly shifted, and I was never taught how to handle that shift, I’m left confused and anxious. How am I supposed to “be an adult” if I was never taught how?
The answer is often simple. If parents are shoving their kids into adulthood with no safety net, simply trying to make their own experience easier, then their kids have to adapt on their own. Independence is hard, especially when it’s forced. But, it has to happen eventually. No matter how quickly and uncomfortably a parent takes their hand away, the student has to adapt and has to eventually “figure it out”, because those are the cards they’ve been dealt.
